


Future Starts Slow

by Queenie_004



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Crushes, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Morning After, POV Alternating, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 13:50:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: White Knight Finn rescues Damsel in Drunkeness Rae after she mixes alcohol with her meds at a party. Their actions the rest of the night - and the next morning finally reveal their feelings for each other. So what next?Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!





	1. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Even though she was wasted she still couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement at him cutting across the room to come to her or the pout on the pretty girl he’d abandoned on the floor."

Rae was drunk. Not pleasantly happy, bit of a buzz drunk, but hold my hair back drunk. It wasn’t just the spirits it was the medication. She was told not to mix the two and she did anyway and now everything was spinning quite fast around her while her stomach gave grave warnings. She stumbled towards a doorway to get hold of something solid and her bleary eyes caught sight of Finn sitting on the floor smoking a cigarette with a girl wrapped around him. She wanted to vomit her insides out and not just because of the drink.

***

Finn was drunk. It was not fun, oh what a night drunk, but the kind where he got short tempered and thought too much about punching someone drunk. They were all at a party at some friend of Chop’s at a flat in the city and he hadn’t wanted to go and now he wanted to leave but he did not want to leave Rae there alone because she was drinking a lot and he was trying to keep an eye on her.

Then she appeared in the doorway and she was swaying. The girl next to him whose name he could not remember was trying to whisper something in his ear, as she had been for half the bloody night and he shrugged her off, as he’d done a dozen times already. Gemma or Sophie or Liz or whatever the fuck her name was kept talking but his eyes were focused on Rae who did not look well at all. “Yeah, cheers” was all he said to the girl as he got up and started pushing through the crowd to get to Rae.

***

“FINN!!” she exclaimed in a very drunk and very loud way as he reached her. Even though she was wasted she still couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement at him cutting across the room to come to her or the pout on the pretty girl he’d abandoned on the floor. “You right then Rae?” He sounded slurred and she didn’t know if that was how he was talking or how she was hearing it. His brows were furrowed in that cute way he had when he was worried and the sight of his t-shirt clinging to his body in the heated room made her feel even more lightheaded. “Yah I’m fine!” she yelled into his ear, the International Response of Drunk Girls Who Were Not the Least Bit Fine.

Finn didn’t look convinced and took hold of her elbows as he leaned towards her, “Let’s go” and he nodded his head towards where he hoped the door was. Oh God he smelled good even if it was boy sweat and cigarettes her head dropped forward to take it in and that’s when he decided they needed to go right now. “Noooo” she protested, “I’m havin’ s’much fun” but she wasn’t so sure and at that moment she actually fell into him and then the noises of the party seemed to submerge under water as she felt his arms wrap around her and his chest was so, so nice to feel against her cheek.

***

Rae crumbled against him and he sobered up instantly and started scanning the room for their friends. He shouted their names and maneuvered Rae to his side so he could support her while he looked for them. “Come girl, can ya walk Rae? Walk for me, yeah? I got ya.” He found a shirtless Chop dancing on a table and Izzy doubled over in laughter on the floor below him. Chloe was making out with some lad in the corner that he’d never seen before and Archie was also very fucked up. What a useless lot. “OI!” he shouted until he got Chop’s attention and he jumped down from the table and came over, “What ‘appened to Raemundo?” Izzy joined them and started fussing over Rae and brushing her hair off her face. “We’re goin’, c’mon” he directed Chop to grab Rae’s other side and the boys draped her arms over their shoulders and Finn told Izzy to get her some water and grab the others.

When they finally made it outside Rae was mumbling but not making any sense. They sat her on the curb and Finn kneeled in front of her with the water and tried to get her to drink. Chloe and Archie came stumbling out laughing and when they got to them Chloe demanded, “what the fuck Finn? I was getting off with Derek!” His eyes narrowed as he looked up at her, “your best mate is fucked, I thought you may wanna help” She came over and rubbed Rae’s head “there, there Rae, Rae, you OK then?” Finn felt the earlier need to punch someone rise back up. Instead he started an argument with her about taking her home and Chloe didn’t want to leave the party and didn’t see why she should be in charge of Drunk Rae and Archie was in no state for driving and Izzy started crying and Chop was jumping back and forth because he was still shirtless and it was cold out.

“Fuck this!” Finn yelled at them, “call us a fucking taxi I’m taking her home.” Chop ran off to make the call and Chloe faked some more sympathy for Rae and wandered after him back to the party. Archie looked sincerely sorry and Izzy had her arms around Rae whispering to her and rubbing her back. Finn forgot his jacket in the party but he didn’t care, he wanted to get Rae home safely and sobered up. When the taxi got there he ordered Archie to get it together and help him move Rae and told Izzy to find their jackets and he’d come round tomorrow to fetch them.

***

They were all outside and everything was muffled and it was cold. She could make out yelling but wasn’t sure what it was about. Was it about her? Finn and Chlo seemed to be having a fight and she wanted to lie down but she heard Izzy in her ear begging her to stay up. Then she was up but she wasn’t sure how because her legs did not seem to be working and then a door slammed and it was quiet except for the hum of an engine and Finn was next to her talking to someone who was talking back and was Finn yelling again? All she could make out was him saying “she won’t, I promise, yeah—can we just go now?” and then her address and she summoned the energy from somewhere to raise her head, “No! No!” she didn’t want to go home her mum could not see her like this. She would be grounded and humiliated and reported to Kester. She wasn’t sure what she said because words were very hard to summon but Finn got quiet and then she heard him say something and they started to move.


	2. The Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He’d had plenty of fantasies lately that involved Rae Earl in his bed but this was definitely not how any of them played out."

He’d had plenty of fantasies lately that involved Rae Earl in his bed but this was definitely not how any of them played out. She refused to go home so he had the taxi take them to his house because he didn’t know where else to go. He kept Rae awake by having the windows down which the cabbie complained about, “It’s this or vomit mate” he’d snarled and when they got to his house he jumped out and luckily his dad was still up watching telly and he paid the driver while Finn got Rae into the house. His dad tried convincing him to put her on the couch and call her mum but Finn was having none of it. “She’s afraid to go home like this and I can take care of her just help me get her upstairs.” It was one of those situations he and his dad had more and more often in which he could see his dad struggling between being a parent and being a mate. Luckily mate won out and after they got her carefully down on Finn’s bed his dad asserted he was to get him if she got worse.

The door closed behind him and he went to Rae and crouched down next to her on the bed. Her eyes were closed but she seemed like she was having a dream or something because her jaw was moving and fingers twitching. He wasn’t sure what exactly to do next so he stayed there for bit just petting her arm and watching her face. He didn’t get much of a chance to study her without someone else noticing, or even worse, her noticing and taking the piss out of him for it. He loved the curve of her round cheeks and the little bow of her mouth. He thought about her lips a lot—how they moved, how soft they looked, how much he wanted to put his lips on them and taste her. A small puff of breath escaped her lips and he froze, feeling as if he’d been caught. But her eyes stayed shut and his legs were cramping so he stood up and tried to think of what else to do. 

***

She was somewhere in a bed. It was quiet now but she could hear someone else in the room. Was she still at the party? She didn’t think so. She faintly recalled Finn and shouting and a car and more shouting and stairs? She thinks she went up some stairs. But this isn’t her bed because if it were her mum would be standing over her screaming at her. This bed is bigger and softer and she feels her foot being moved and tries very hard to open at least one eye to see if someone is stealing her Converse. What she thinks she sees is Finn carefully untying her trainer and slipping it off her foot. Wait—were the medications making her hallucinate? She rolls her eyes to the ceiling and there’s a skylight and fuck—she’s in Finn Fucking Nelson’s fucking bed. And she’s too drunk to even come on to him and then pretend it was the drink that made her do it. “Well fucking played Rae you twat.” she thinks through the haze.

He lifts her other foot and repeats the same gestures and his face looks so solemn. She’s never quite seen him look like this and it’s mesmerizing. His face is so beautiful sometimes it hurts her eyes to look at him and she has to snap her gaze from him and pretend she was listening to whatever the gang was talking about so no one notices what a moony cow she looked like staring at him. She thinks she says his name out loud but maybe it was just in her head, but no, he looks up from where he was easing her foot back on the bed and bends down until he’s close to her face, “You OK?” he asks and now his beautiful face is worried and she feels her heart write his name for the hundredth time but this time with an exclamation point.

A hand is touching his cheek and she wants to get angry about it because if she’s in Finn Nelson’s bed or even hallucinating she’s in Finn Nelson’s bed, she better be the only one touching him and then she feels a warm exhale along her wrist and fuck all if she isn’t the one caressing him. She thinks she should stop but she doesn’t want to. He feels good and it keeps her focused because the room is doing funny things like expanding and maybe even melting. Maybe if she kissed him the room would stop and this is the drunk logic that propels her towards him.

***

She tries to kiss him and as much as he’s also fantasized about that as recently as 30 seconds ago, this is also not how he imagined it or how he wants their first kiss to be. He says her name and catches her head in his hands, her thick dark hair spilling from between his fingers—which to be fair, he’s also dreamed about a lot and actually, he’s going to give himself this one because it’s innocent enough and bloody hell if it doesn’t feel good all silky soft as it spirals against his pillow. Her eyes are open now but her pupils are dilated and she doesn’t seem like she’s fully there in the moment. “Can ya sit up and I’ll help you with your shirt?” He thinks if he gets her flannel off she’ll be more comfortable in her t-shirt and sleep better. She nods and he helps her sit fully up and feels a twinge of sadness as her hair falls out of his grasp.

He sits next to her on the bed and waits a moment to see if she’ll start unbuttoning the shirt but she’s still so he reaches over and starts unbuttoning it for her and her head lolls and it feels so very intimate to be undressing her in his bedroom, if only a bit. He so wishes this was another night and she was aware and was doing the same things to him before pushing him down on the bed and crawling all over him…and he comes back to reality when she suddenly says “can ya make it stop?” His fingers freeze on the last button worried what she thinks he’s doing and then she adds, “The room Finn, make the room stop doing that” as she waves her hand around.

He actually looks around his bedroom as if it could possibly be doing something behind his back but everything is the same. Finally it dawns on him, “is it spinnin’ about Rae?” she nods her head and he can’t help but feel badly for her, “the spins are the bleedin’ worst, eh?” he says as he tugs her shirt from her shoulders and reaches around her to slip her arms out. When he gets them he usually just crawls to the floor and tries to think of a song to sing in his head to help him concentrate until it passes. There’s a knock then on his door and his dad enters carrying a pint glass filled with water. He peers over Finn’s shoulder at Rae who is rubbing her head and reminds him to make sure she drinks a lot of water before retreating back into the hall.

***

Finn is undressing her. Oh god how she’s had filthy dreams about this. And they kissed! Or did they? She knows she wanted to kiss him and was about to but now she can’t recall if she did or not. Fucking Chop and his fucking cocktails that are heavy on the spirits and light on all else. Now she can’t even recall if she kissed Finn or not and why the hell won’t his room stop messing with her? There’s someone else in there now and she can’t hear them but she hopes it’s not Annabelle or Jenny or Phoebe or whoever that skinny little witch was who was trying to pull him all night long at the party. She flops back down on his bed and squeezes her eyes shut. Finn is asking her something and she’s agreeing although she doesn’t know what she’s agreeing to, hopefully it’s more of him taking her clothes off because if those meds are making her hallucinate, she better have the best fucking trip of her life on them.

But now she hears music and she can’t make out what it is but it’s soothing. She could live in this fantasy too—the two of them alone in his bedroom listening to music and holding hands, him tracing his messages on her body and looking up at her with shy eyes. And making out, so, _so_ much making out until her face was numb kind of like it was right now. She really hopes that she didn’t black out during any kissing. Did she kiss him? She still can’t remember but she wants to so very much. “Really?” she hears him say above her and she wonders if she just told him she wants to kiss him.

**

“Are ya sure?” he asks as she pats the space on the bed next to her, “’Cause I can sleep on the floor Rae or the chair, I don’t mind.” But she surprises him then and laughs, it’s the most animated he’s seen her in hours. “Right here,” she’s rubbing her hand in circles on the duvet, then in the sweetest voice that he could never possibly resist she says, “please?”

He leaves the record on and turns off the light. He isn’t sure what to do about his clothes. He usually sleeps mostly well, naked. But that isn’t going to happen tonight. He’s pretty sure he’s not going to sleep anyway because he’ll be too concerned about her and far too aware of her body next to his. He slips off his belt and trades his t-shirt for a vest and keeps his jeans on as he carefully climbs over her body and lies down next to her. He stays facing her and can see her profile outlined in the lights of the stereo. Damn does he want this again on a different night when she is sober and he is naked and the music is their lullaby as he kisses her until they are both oblivious to anything but their skin touching and bodies moving into each other.

He shakes his head because he was enjoying that a little too much for these circumstances. “Rae I’m right here, yeah? So if ya need anything just tell me. I can take care of it. I can take care of ya.” She’s quiet and he isn’t sure if she’s sleeping but he reaches a hand out and rests it on her head. His fingers massage her scalp slowly and she makes a soft little noise, which gives him a shiver. “My mum used to do this when I was sick,” he whispers. “S’nice” she says and rolls her head a little so his fingertips travel farther. “You’re so nice Finn Nelson.” He smiles in the dark because sober Rae would never utter these words. “I fancy you so very much” she sighs and his breath halts.


	3. The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He’s still asleep next to her and she doesn’t want to move and wake him because she wants to memorize every moment of waking up next to him in his bed with the light warming them both in the quiet of the morning."

Something is in her eyes and she tries rubbing it away but it’s still there and it’s bright, too bright for her very hungover head. She cracks her eyes open and it’s the sun peeking through the ceiling. She can’t understand why there is sunlight streaming through her roof and then she hears a noise next to her and there’s Finn, shifting in the light with a lovely lock of hair falling and a bare shoulder within biting distance and she’s startled into remembering the night before: the medication she hates for her mad mind, the party in the city, the drinking, Chop’s cocktails meeting the meds and throwing her body and mind into a tailspin. She remembers Finn fighting with their friends and she thinks with a taxi driver and also with his dad? He couldn’t possibly be arguing with everyone over her, could he?

He’s still asleep next to her and she doesn’t want to move and wake him because she wants to memorize every moment of waking up next to him in his bed with the light warming them both in the quiet of the morning. She also doesn’t want him to wake up and see what she can only imagine is a bloated face and morning after booze breath. Just the thought makes her cover her mouth in horror and the sudden movement is exactly the thing that awakens him.

“Rae!” he snaps to attention and as she suspected, he even looks like a male model the moment he wakes up, the fit bastard. “Everythin’ OK?” he rises up on his elbow and she watches the muscles in his shoulder move under his skin and she bites down the urge to run her tongue over it. “You feelin’ better?” his free hand reaches over and brushes hair off her face and she feels very shy under his attentiveness. “Ya had a bit of drink last night, eh? Gave me a little scare.” She blinks and tries to find her voice as it is all hitting her: he was worried about her and he spent the night taking care of her in his bedroom. He took off her trainers and her flannel and made sure she sipped water and he played music for her and rubbed her head until she fell asleep. She thinks that yes, he was in fact shouting at everyone last night because he was scared. Scared about the state that she put herself in.

This realization is followed up by another one, one that she is nervous to admit but understands that his tenderness should be met with honesty, no matter how hard it feels to say what she knows she has to right now. “Finn” she whispers and he lays his head down in his hand and watches her. “I have to tell you somethin’. It’s a little hard for me to talk…” his brow creases and she flings her hand over her mouth, “My god is my breath wretched? It’s like something died in there, innit?” The corner of his mouth goes up a bit and he gently pulls her hand away, “Don’t be daft, what’s hard?” She screws up her mouth and then pulls the trigger, “I didn’t drink all that much really. I know it looked like I did and it felt like I did, but I didn’t. The truth is…” here it comes, once it’s out of her mouth she knows she can’t laugh it away or pretend it’s a joke, “well, the truth is what I did drink mixed with some pills.”

***

He is sure he did not see her take any drugs last night. He knows he wasn’t watching her the whole time, but he also knows he was watching her a lot. Being aware of where Rae Earl is and what she’s doing is pretty much his full time occupation now and he’s sure he would have noticed her popping a pill. Or she would have told him she did it while she shoved one in his mouth so they could get fucked together. Before he can even ask her what she took she blurts out the rest.

“They’re from a doctor and I hafta take them for my…well for my head because I’ve been in hospital for me head.” She squeezes her eyes shut like she’s trying not to cry and he feels his heart hurting for her. “I’m fine now—I mean, not completely fine because I take the pills but just” she sighs sadly, “They help my brain be not so…messy…I guess.” She exhales a long breath and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

This confuses him—not the medication but the apology. “Why’re you sorry Rae? You didn’t do nothin’ wrong.” He wants to wrap her up in his arms and hold her, rub her back and nuzzle into her ear that he’s the one who’s sorry. Sorry he didn’t know and didn’t pay closer attention to her last night. For someone who is falling in love with her, he did a pretty shit job noticing something so big was going on with her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” is what he says and she opens her eyes but just stares at the bit of duvet cover between them. “I do…” she starts, “but I don’t right now. I mean, yeah, but no.”

“Hey” he lifts her chin, “I’m glad ya told me. When you think you want to talk, can ya tell me? I’d like to hear, yeah?” Her eyes widen, “when you’re ready though.” She smiles a bit and he’s so grateful she made it through the night, especially now that he knows she was having a reaction that he probably should have taken her to A&E for. If his dad finds out he’ll get a proper lecture and he’ll deserve it.

They lay still just staring at each other and he wants to have so many more mornings like this one, _every_ morning like this one—minus the type of night before they just had. But there is a knock and his dad cracks the door open, “We all right in here? How’s the lass?” and Rae buries her face in the pillow and Finn tells his dad she’s fine but the spell is broken now. “Well come down for some breakfast you two, I’ve got a cure for what ails ya Rae!”

***

She’s left alone in his room while Finn goes down to help his dad with breakfast. He opened a drawer and showed her where his shirts were if she wanted something to wear that she hadn’t slept in. She smiled gratefully and he lingered by the door and then slipped out. It felt a little like some a bubble had burst even though she was not functioning for most of the time they were in the little fortress of his room together. She wanders over to the drawer and puts her hand on top of a stack of rugby jerseys that feel soft and worn and make her remember her cheek pressed against his chest last night and how she wishes she had clearer memories of what took place because she can almost believe that the evidence would show that Finn Nelson fancies her, maybe even as much as she fancies him. If that is even humanly possible which she is less convinced of.

She finds a top that looks like a baggy enough fit for her and takes her own top off careful to avoid any reflections. As it slips down over her body she shivers because it smells like him—soap and grass and a bit of tobacco. She tugs it down until it hangs low and loose like she needs and takes a deep breath before she leaves the room with a stop at the toilet to see what dreadful state her hair and her face might be in.

***

Finn has his back turned when she enters the kitchen and hears his dad chortle, “morning there Rae!” and when he turns and sees her he actually loses his balance and hits the counter behind him. One thing he now knows is that in all the Rae Earl fantasies that have been churning through his brain for months, seeing her in his clothes with loose dark waves framing her adorable sleepy face was not one of them but easily should have made Top Five. She smiles shyly and seems to be nervous which is not a look he’s familiar with when it comes to her. “Right then, have a seat there and I’ll get you a proper fry-up, yeah? Always cures the morning afters. We’ve got bacon, some sausages here, Finn, get a can of the beans, right” Finn is watching Rae’s face as his dad bustles around, “dad, I think maybe not today.” She suddenly looks real pale. “Rae?” he goes over to her and crouches beside her. “Just a little tea would be fine Mr. Nelson” her voice is small and Finn for the thousandth time in a dozen hours just wants to wrap her up in his arms and soothe away all her misery.

“Ah sure sure. It always fixes me right up and Finn too, but a cuppa will work just as good.” His dad starts taking care of the kettle and Rae smiles weakly. “Is there anything else you like Rae? Can I get ya somethin’ else?” She sighs and shakes her head but he thinks she’s just being polite. Finally she wrinkles her nose and asks, “Do ya have any biscuits?”  They are out of bloody biscuits and Finn jumps up and announces, “I’ll go get some.” His voice sounds awkwardly anxious and he ignores the looks they give him as he pats around for his wallet. His dad hands him a tenner and Finn notes that he’s going to grab another one from the jar in the hall because he’s going to buy _all_ the fucking biscuits for Rae as if it will somehow prove how deeply smitten he is with her. “Digestives good?” he asks and she nods with a small smile breaking across her so-pretty-it-makes-him-stupid-face, “maybe a bit of the chocolate ones?”

***

Left alone with Mr. Nelson Rae feels a bit nervous. He’s being very kind and chatty as he lays out her tea but she feels embarrassed that she got herself into the state she did and that he has to see it. Of all the girls Finn’s probably had over, a hungover one with a craving for a chocolate McVitie’s is probably not one he’s encountered before. “Ya know Rae,” he sits across from her as he pours the kettle, “my son doesn’t dash out to Spar Shop before 9AM on a Saturday to stock up on biscuits for just anyone.” She stares at her brew and slowly drags the spoon around the edge. She’s not sure how to respond because well, even in her hazy state of mind she feels like there’s more to Finn’s caring for her last night than just generally being a good mate. She hopes there’s more to it because she likes him so bloody much she’s half contemplating how to get away with keeping his clothes that she has on. “So I can tell you’re a very special girl,” he continues, taking a sip, “very special indeed.” Rae hides her smile behind her mug.

***

He brings home a sack full of biscuits. It’s an embarrassment of biscuit riches but he doesn’t care. She’s giggling at his dad who is going on about some ancient story about a concert he went to a million years ago. She looks happy and has color back in her cheeks as she takes tiny, perfect nibbles of her biscuit and he knows for sure he is ridiculously, deeply crazy about her because he could watch her do that for eternity and never tire of it. They go back upstairs to gather up her things so Finn can bring her home. He wishes he could lock her in his room and take her back to his bed but instead he does something he’s wanted to do for ages, that he’s needed to do and been an idiot for not doing already when he knows down to the marrow of his bones what he wants.

He asks her out. On a proper date for later that night and he will pick her up and take her out, he will open doors and pay tabs and tell her he likes her, ask her to be more than friends and at the end of it he will lean in and kiss her and he will put every ounce of what he’s been feeling for her into this kiss because he’s never wanted to kiss someone so much in his entire life.

***

Yes. She says yes so loudly and quickly that they both laugh a little and he reaches to brush his fingertips over the back of her hand and she feels like she’s drunk again, but good oh my god I’m so happy and I love everything drunk, as if champagne bubbles are dancing through her bloodstream because now he knows about the hospital and the medication and he wants her anyway, even while she’s wearing his oversized jersey and probably has chocolate biscuit crumbs on her lips and spent the night as a drunken mess in his bed and oh Jesus, tried to kiss him in a pill and alcohol induced fever dream.

It all begins at 7PM. They can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Future Starts Slow / The Kills (2011)


End file.
